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Novellit Jännitys & toiminta Death of the Innocent (English short story)
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Death of the Innocent (English short story)

Chapter 1 Kaitlyn´s Birthday Party
It all started on December 3rd in 2011 in Kaitlyn Hoffman´s anniversary party. She was the high school prom queen of the same year. As one of the top students of her class, she also had envious opponents. Poor Kaitlyn knew nothing of their existence. What is more that her assassins could be her closest friends.
Kaitlyn sat dressed in a short, white evening dress in a chair next to the swimming pool. Her platinum blonde hair was made up to a chignon to the top of her head. She looked like a beauty contestant winner in many of her guests´ opinion. Kaitlyn was sipping lemonade from a glass, which she held in her hand. Her best friend, Isabelle, sat opposite to her at the same table.
The girls were discussing about their dresses. Isabelle wore a dark blue, tight fitting dress along with perfectly matching high-heeled shoes. She could be easily mistaken as Kaitlyn´s sister. The two eighteen-year-old girls looked very much the same. Except that Isabelle was a brunette.
Suddenly, Kaitlyn informed her friend that she had to go to the bathroom. Isabelle excused her. Kaitlyn got up and left. Isabelle assumed that she would be back soon. However, Kaitlyn never returned to the table again. After ten minutes, she was found dead on the bathroom floor.
Kaitlyn´s white dress was stained in her own blood. One of Kaitlyn´s friends, Janice, discovered the body on the floor of the ladies´ room. Janice rushed to Isabelle to tell the sad news. Janice wore a black dress on that night. Janice´s face exposed her terror, when she explained to Isabelle that what had happened. Janice phoned to 911 before rushing to her boyfriend Simon. Simon stood at the hallway close to the ladies´ room, where the accident took place.
The police arrived shortly after receiving the call. Simon embraced his girlfriend. Their eyes were wet with tears. No one suspected the couple of Kaitlyn´s murder. No one had doubts except Isabelle. She couldn´t understand that what they were doing in the hallway. Why weren´t they sitting by the pool with the other guests?
Isabelle´s suspicion didn´t worry Janice and Simon. They appeared to be angels in the scene. The police restricted the area around the house. They announced the party to be closed. All the people returned to their homes. Everyone was in terror after witnessing the event. Kaitlyn´s corpse was carried out of the bathroom into an ambulance. Even though she was already found to be dead in the bathroom.
Outside Kaitlyn´s mansion, Janice and Simon embraced each other. Looking into his girlfriend´s eyes, Simon asked: “Are you alright honey?”
“I know I´m upset. This will not be easy for me to bear.” Janice replied.
“I know, I´m not alright either. I´ll take you to my place. Let´s take a cab over there. I´m too drunk to drive.” He suggested.
Janice accepted his idea. They said good bye to the other guests, who were surrounding them. Then, the couple turned around and left. Isabelle stared at their backs. She couldn´t understand their sudden departure. She would have liked them to stay. She required an explanation from them.
Isabelle needed to talk to Janice. Isabelle was shocked, because her best friend had just died. She was disappointed that Janice didn´t remain.
Isabelle met Kaitlyn´s parents. They came home from a restaurant in the same evening. After hearing that their daughter was dead, they broke into tears. Isabelle did her best to comfort and console Kaitlyn´s mom. She also held Kaitlyn´s father´s and brother´s hands. The entire family questioned Isabelle about the events of that night. All she could tell was that their dear Kaitlyn was dead.
Isabelle felt guilty for not being able to give them any more useful information. After all, they wanted to know that who was the murderer. What sort of person could kill an innocent teenage girl in her own home? Isabelle was unable to provide them the necessary answers. She was still looking for the same information herself.
At first, Isabelle didn´t imagine that Janice and Simon were behind the murder. She suspected them the least. Janice was Isabelle´s friend from since the start of high school. It all changed after Kaitlyn was found with slit wrists. She died of blood loss. The cruelty of her murder shocked all people.
However, the police concluded that her case was an ordinary teenage suicide. They treated Kaitlyn´s case as that of a depressed suicidal patient. No one except for Isabelle, suspected that terrorists had slipped into her house. Isabelle was the only one, who held that idea in her head.
No fingerprints were found in the girl´s corpse. No murder weapon was found to be present either. The police said that clearly her death resulted from a suicide. Kaitlyn´s mother was devastated. She buried her face in Isabelle´s shoulder. They cried together for hours in Kaitlyn´s bedroom.
Afterwards, Kaitlyn´s mother took a dose of sedative pills. The jar was included in one of the bedroom drawers. Mrs. Hoffman fell asleep in Kaitlyn´s bed. She was hugging her daughter´s teddy bear, when Isabelle left.
Isabelle headed to her own apartment straight away. There, she had to mourn on her own. She had displayed her sorrow openly to Mrs. Hoffman. Yet, she needed to have time for herself too.
Isabelle couldn´t handle what was going on. She began to fear for her own life. Her friend´s suicide seemed surreal to her comprehension. Janice called her. Isabelle answered the call right away. She was curious to know what Janice was about to tell her.
Janice´s voice sounded compassionate. She said that Isabelle could come to stay with her and Simon anytime.
Isabelle thanked, but refused to take the offer. She didn´t want to bother Janice and her boyfriend. A part of her heart didn´t trust in the couple´s generosity. They seemed so friendly at first. Their goodness was not to be trusted. Isabelle thought that they weren´t as kind as they looked.
Simon pretended to be friendly, but his true nature was more cold-blooded. Isabelle knew that Simon used to carry a jack-knife in his pocket. He kept it there for self-defense. So, he´d explained it to Janice and Isabelle once. Janice also appeared to be an angel at first. However, Isabelle saw that she was a wolf in sheep´s clothing. Janice was the one, who found Kaitlyn dead on the floor. Therefore, she had witnessed Kaitlyn´s death closer than any other one of her guests.
Isabelle´s imagination developed a theory of Janice and Simon scheming against Kaitlyn. Unfortunately, they knew more about her death than Isabelle. Isabelle found it hard to believe that Kaitlyn´s death was a suicide or a mere accident. Kaitlyn had jealous enemies, whom she knew nothing about when she was still alive. Some of her enemies were disguised as her best friends. All they wanted to gain from Kaitlyn was her money and her fame.

Kaitlyn´s corpse was brought to the mortuary. Isabelle visited there with her parents. She recognized Kaitlyn´s face, when she saw it. Isabelle broke into tears. Kaitlyn looked like a white, pure angel. She looked like she was sleeping. Isabelle didn´t touch her. She feared touching the body. Its stiffness might shock her.
After crying next to her best friend´s corpse, she pulled the sheet over Kaitlyn´s face. Isabelle left. She returned home. Then, she received a call from Janice. Janice´s voice sounded soothing. She asked Isabelle that could she come over. Isabelle gave Janice the permission. Janice showed up in Isabelle´s place within fifteen minutes.
Isabelle had opened her computer in the library room, when the doorbell rang. She went to open the door for Janice. She was surprised to meet Janice´s sorrowful face. Isabelle had imagined her friend to smile. However, Janice looked like she´d been crying for hours. There were dark bags under her eyes too. Isabelle invited her to enter in her home. She led Janice to the library room. There, Isabelle showed Janice pictures that were taken in Kaitlyn´s latest birthday party.
Janice said that she didn´t know that Isabelle had brought a camera along with her. Isabelle said that she used to take the camera wherever she went. Her answer surprised Janice. Janice seemed to be uncomfortable, while she viewed the photos. She was afraid that something unwanted might come up accidentally.
“Isn´t she beautiful in those pictures?” Janice asked.
“Yes, it´s so sad that she isn´t here anymore. I can´t believe that she took her own life. There must be something unusual involved in this case. Somebody did something to her.” Isabelle claimed.
“Do you mean that we caused her death, dear?”
“I didn´t say so. I just mentioned that somebody was involved in Kaitlyn´s death. Perhaps it was an outsider, who intruded in her home.”
“Your guess could be right. You could still go to the police to present your idea.”
“Your boy friend´s jack-knife matches the marks in Kaitlyn´s wrists. How is that possible?”
“I believe it´s a coincidence. I think that you should be careful. Don´t go to research this case on your own Isabelle.”
Isabelle took the warning seriously. She was afraid of Janice and Simon. They were plotting together. Isabelle sensed it. She wanted to stay hidden from the murderers. She seriously believed that Kaitlyn was killed with Simon´s knife. It wasn´t a coincidence. Either Simon or Janice killed her. Or they did it together. This was Isabelle´s first guess.
Still, she lacked proof against them. Without evidence her accusations against the chief police´s daughter Janice and her famous boyfriend Simon were ignored. No one would believe Isabelle. Kaitlyn, who knew the truth for sure, was dead.
Isabelle would raise a lawsuit against Janice and Simon. Naturally, Janice´s father would defend her in court. He knew the best attorneys, who could get his daughter out of trouble. Janice could get off the hook easily. Then, she would also help Simon to get rid of Isabelle´s charges.
Janice looked deep into Isabelle´s eyes. Isabelle read the pity in Janice´s gaze. It made her feel sick. How could she kill my best friend and then deny it? Isabelle thought. She was fed up with Janice´s dishonesty and power. Janice and her boyfriend had hearts as cold as stone. They only seemed to be caring about other people.
In fact, Isabelle felt like a powerless victim. She couldn´t do anything to stop the couple. They were most likely murderers. Why did they kill Kaitlyn? What had the poor girl done to them? Or did she know more than she should? Questions developed inside Isabelle´s head. They went in circles, when she finally fell asleep.
Janice had put something into her tea. It was most likely sleeping pills. After Isabelle woke up in her own bedroom, Janice had left. An empty glass stood on a table next to the bed. Isabelle saw the glass. She smelled it. It had contained water that she remembered drinking. Then after it, she began to feel drowsy. She just blacked out.
She was lucky to wake up alive again. Perhaps Janice had meant to poison her. Janice was more evil than she had thought.
The first thing that Isabelle saw was Kaitlyn´s smiling face in the laptop screen. The picture was taken on the night of Kaitlyn´s death. The prom queen smiled widely with her blue eyes shining through the picture. Kaitlyn´s eyes were like stars. They were large, bright and truthful. How different they looked in comparison to the corpse´s glazed stare? Suddenly, Isabelle felt cold chills descending along her spine. Her best friend was dead. Kaitlyn would never return to tell her the truth.
Janice, I´m going to sue you. I´ll get you and your boyfriend to pay for what you did to Kaitlyn. Anger began to boil inside Isabelle´s brain. She understood that Kaitlyn´s death was masqueraded as suicide. Kaitlyn never had any reason to take away her own life. Isabelle was ready to prove it.
She had to talk to someone. There was no one, who would believe her. Even the police thought that Kaitlyn´s death was unquestionably a suicide.
Chapter 2 Boys at School
At two o´clock in the Wednesday afternoon, two boys were sitting in the school yard. One of them was Simon Davis. The other boy was Robby Wilson. Robby sat on a stone fence holding his laptop. He was visiting a website, which included holiday resort catalogue. Simon glanced the pictures over Robby´s shoulder.
“Hey, Robby did you see those pictures of Kaitlyn Hoffman that were posted in the webpage?” Simon asked.
“Yes, I saw them. It was Isabelle, who added them there. She doesn´t believe that her friend´s death was suicide?” Robby replied.
“How gross! Isabelle is a jerk. How could she behave so distastefully towards Kaitlyn?” Simon added.
“I don´t know pal. She thinks that in that way Kaitlyn´s case will gain more audience. Although I believe that her death was an accident.”
“You better believe that it was an accident Robby. Or your life could be next at stake.”
Robby laughed. He didn´t take Simon´s warning seriously. He imagined Simon to be joking. Robby believed that a girl like Kaitlyn could commit suicide. In addition, Robby considered Simon and Janice to be a harmless couple in love. He was even jealous of their joyful existence. Robby had thought of asking Isabelle to go out with him. Since, he lacked girlfriend´s company.
In the next moment, Robby brought his mouth close to Simon´s ear. Robby whispered: “Where shall we go to? To Mexico or San Francisco?”
“I don´t know yet. I let you to decide. I have two hundred dollars in my banc account. I wished to get help from you or Janice.” Simon answered.
They were talking about running away from their home town. They had to move elsewhere. It was only a question of days before the police would start to reinvestigate Kaitlyn´s case. They might start to suspect that she was murdered after all.
The boys feared Isabelle´s influence. Simon called her a dangerous bitch. He feared her sharp wits and ways of digging deep into the truth. Isabelle knew how to terrify people by pressing charges against them. She was skilful in getting the police to defend her as well.
Kaitlyn´s mom took Isabelle´s accusations towards Janice and Simon seriously. Mrs. Hoffman also believed that her daughter was murdered. She also got her husband and Kaitlyn´s older brother to think so. The Hoffman family was ready to defend Isabelle in court. They all accused Janice and Simon of killing Kaitlyn.

Simon´s phone rang. The caller was Janice. He picked up the call. “Hi honey, I´m busy with Robby now. What´s up?” Simon said.
“I just had to inform you that Isabelle is not giving up accusing us of murder. She and Kaitlyn´s family are suing us. Simon, we´ve got to escape.” Janice explained.
“I know. Me and Robby are just checking resorts from the internet. I promise to you that the three of us will leave on this evening. Before the police will be at my place or your home. Got it?”
“That stupid bitch is making us suffer! I´m talking about Isabelle. She makes sure that we´ll get caught. Then what will happen to us Simon? You´ve got to do something to prevent this from happening.”
“I promise to you darling that we´ll be alright soon. I´ll book us a hotel in Mexico. We´ll run there tonight. Alright?”
“Fine Simon, I come with you and Robby. Come to pick me up in my place at eight.”
He gave her his promise. Simon loved Janice. She was just as evil as him. They belonged together for that reason. Simon chose a hotel in New Mexico right away. His girlfriend´s call shook him awake. Thanks to Janice, he got the hotel room booked quickly. He told Robby that he could come along with the two of them. Robby agreed.
Robby was just as guilty of murdering Kaitlyn as Simon and Janice were. It was Robby, who´d planned to mask her death as suicide. Robby didn´t feel guilty for his action. He hated Kaitlyn as much as Simon and Janice did. They were after Kaitlyn´s money. By killing her they thought that they´d get it.

Chapter 3 Janice Starts to Fear
Janice slept on the floor of the living room. She had dropped on the floor from the couch. Her head had hit the floor. There was a swollen bruise in her forehead. She had taken a sleeping pill. Unfortunately, she ended up losing her muscle control. She just slipped out of the couch and hit her head on the floor. It was almost like Kaitlyn´s case. She imagined herself to suffer like Kaitlyn.
Janice regretted her participation in Kaitlyn´s murder. She was the one, who added sleeping pills to Kaitlyn´s drink before she died. It was Simon, who slit Kaitlyn´s wrists in the toilet. Together they managed the entire bloody scene.
Janice struggled hard to rise from the floor. Then, she emptied a glass of water. She was thirsty after sleeping for few hours. “Oh my god, I´ve got to get myself to the toilet and get shower. My head feels so heavy that I´ll throw up. Shit!” She cursed.
Supporting her forehead to her palm, Janice made her way to the bathroom. She was alone in the house. The apartment belonged to her and Simon. Simon would be home within half an hour. Janice undressed. She turned on the shower knobs and went to stand underneath the flowing water.
She tried to relax and to think straight. The fear of getting caught crept into her mind. She felt guilty for the first time. Hurting Janice was equal to killing herself. Janice imagined that it was the payback time for her and Simon. Perhaps Robby would get in trouble also. They weren´t safe in their homes any longer. They would have to leave before dawn.
She applied shampoo over her hair and scalp with quick moves. She had to hurry. They didn´t have time to waste. Afterwards, she got dressed. She packed a gun in her hand bag. The weapon was stolen from Janice´s father´s private office. Janice´s father was a cop. He possessed a gun in the family´s home also. Janice was too fearful to steal the gun in her home. Therefore, she stole one of her dad´s officer´s guns.
She did it by sneaking into his apartment. She entered in the house, while the officer and his family were sleeping in their bedroom. Janice knew that he kept the gun stored in the kitchen. She opened the drawer, where it was. Then, she took it and got out of the house quickly. Janice had access to the house, because she was working as a nanny in the household. She had been trusted the keys.
Despite of their brilliant plan, Janice began to fear. A thought of going to prison haunted her constantly. While being alone, she felt insecure. It was only in Simon´s company, when she felt safe. Janice dried her hair in her towel. She got dressed again. She made sure that the stolen gun was hid inside her handbag. She was ready to pull it out for self-defense. She would dare to take it in her hand even when the police were threatening her.

Chapter 4 Isabelle Plans a Careful Revenge
Isabelle wasn´t as weak as she´d thought. She spent many days in bed after Kaitlyn´s death. Then she finally got up, because she had to. Slowly, she regained her strength. She was sure that her friend´s death wasn´t an accident. Someone deserved to die besides Kaitlyn. Isabelle demanded justice.
She still blamed Janice and Simon for Kaitlyn´s death. It wasn´t hard for Isabelle to see that they were plotting against Janice. Isabelle saw their envy and their greed for gaining Kaitlyn´s money. They were traitors, who pretended to be Kaitlyn´s friends. Now Isabelle saw through the truth more clearly than ever.
She couldn´t forgive them. They were to get what they deserved. Isabelle visited in the police station frequently. She gave the officers all the information that she knew about her two classmates. She told the police about Robby Wilson´s possible involvement in Kaitlyn´s murder. The police took her stories now seriously. After finding out that one of the officers´ guns had been stolen from his home.
The officer happened to be Janice´s boss. She quit her nanny´s job after running away with the officer´s gun and her boyfriend Simon. The police didn´t find the couple´s whereabouts. They were unable to trace them. Since Simon was driving with a false license plate attached to his car. Simon, Janice and Robby went unrecognized until they reached New Mexico.
Rage burned inside Isabelle. She imagined stealing a gun from someone and shooting Janice, Simon and Robby in their legs with it. She wouldn´t kill them. She would only hurt them. So that the police could catch those bastards. The three criminals belonged in prison. Isabelle´s sense of justice was unfailing. They were never forgiven for their deed.
Isabelle would never get Kaitlyn back. She was sure of it. Therefore, she didn´t deny the truth. She had more power than she imagined at first. She would find out that where Janice, Simon and Robby were hiding. They didn´t go to school any longer. Isabelle and her friends had noticed them being absent for one week already from their classes.
Therefore, she planned a careful revenge. She still pretended to be their friend. She played her game as coldly as them. She had Janice´s phone number and email address. Isabelle contacted Janice by calling her at first. After not receiving an answer, she wrote an email to Janice. She told Janice how she was in her side. She promised to help Janice and Simon to get away from the police. She promised them money from Kaitlyn´s home.
Janice sent her a reply. In her letter, Janice said that she´d consider the offer. Isabelle suggested a meeting for them. Janice agreed. Janice demanded Isabelle to hand her twenty thousand dollars in cash. It was the price for Isabelle´s safety. Isabelle told Janice that she had that amount in cash. She said that they could meet on any time.
Isabelle left on the same evening. She borrowed her father´s car. She drove to an old warehouse´s garage, which was located twenty kilometres from her home. There she was supposed to meet Janice and hand her the money. Isabelle didn´t have a gun when she arrived. However, she had informed the police about the meeting. She had told the cops that Janice was most likely possessing a gun.
Isabelle did have the twenty thousand in cash. She saw Janice standing in front of the garage. Janice led her inside the building for no one was to see what they were up to. Isabelle drove the car into the garage. She handed the money to Isabelle through the open window. She never came out of the vehicle.
After handing the money, she closed the car window and drove outside. Isabelle´s heart pounded. She had seen the gun in Isabelle´s hand. It didn´t make her to laugh, but just the opposite. Isabelle feared for her own life. She was happy to get out of the garage.

Chapter 5 The Guilty Ones Are Exposed

An unpleasant surprise waited Janice and Simon outside the garage. When Janice exited through the backdoor, she met the ten police officers right in front of her. The officers pointed their guns towards the couple, who emerged. Janice panicked. She dropped the gun. She grabbed Simon´s arm with her both hands. The cops surrounded them both. The officers grabbed their arms and forced them inside the police car.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court. With these rights in mind, are you still willing to talk with me about the charges against you?” One of the officers spoke to the couple.
Janice and Simon were placed in handcuffs. Obediently, they did as they were told. They were afraid of the violence that might follow from unwanted behaviour. They feared the cops and their hatred. After all, they were both charged with first degree murder of Kaitlyn Hoffman.
After getting out from the garage, Isabelle drove back to her house. She had exposed them to the police, which was the bravest deed of her life. She felt proud of herself. Finally, they got what they deserved. This time, Janice´s father couldn´t help his daughter. Janice and her boyfriend would be put behind bars before they even knew it.
After reaching her home, Isabelle threw the car keys and the gun on the kitchen table. She rushed into her own room. She cried, because she was so stressed earlier. She saw Kaitlyn´s picture on the table in photo frame. Her friend smiled in the picture. It was a yearbook picture, which Kaitlyn had donated to Isabelle.
The danger is over. Finally, I get to rest. She thought. Robby was still running free. Nobody knew his whereabouts. He was the only remaining danger. He could still come and hurt Isabelle. Concerned of her own safety, Isabelle returned to downstairs. She grabbed the gun from the table. It was loaded for shooting Robby. She would do it, if she had to. Isabelle took the gun as quickly as she returned to upstairs.
She fell asleep on her own bed. She held the gun in her hand under the blanket for the entire night. She wasn´t afraid of shooting herself accidentally with it. She was so afraid the Robby would enter in her room by breaking one of the windows. There was a ladder outside, which he could use to climb to her room. Then, he could easily break one window with a stone. She imagined him doing so, before it even occurred.
To Isabelle´s disappointment and luck, Robby never showed up. She slept for the entire night. She was also bothered by nightmares. She woke up many times and then fell asleep again. Isabelle thought that she was going insane. She imagined that Robby was playing hide and seek with her.
In the morning, she received a call from the police station. The deputy told her that they had captured Robby on the same night also. He was put behind bars like Janice and Simon. Isabelle felt safe now. She was happy that they got what they deserved. Then she moved to the garden. There she started to plant some flowers in the flower bench. It took away her thoughts towards something positive.

Chapter 6 Pool Party of the Rich Veronique
In the same week, Isabelle gained an invitation to one of her friends´ pool party. Her friend was called Veronique Saunders. She was a rich super model and former child actress. Veronique resembled Kaitlyn Hoffman in terms of her wealth and glory. She was throwing her twentieth anniversary celebration.
Isabelle went there alone. She wore the same dress, which she had worn in Kaitlyn´s party. She looked stunning in her family´s opinion. Isabelle´s long hair was open. She had curled it right before she left. Veronique greeted her at the entrance. She wore a red dress and shoes of the same colour. Veronique´s taste in fashion was never left behind. She always followed the latest trends.
The girlfriends kissed each other´s cheeks. They enjoyed sharing kisses and hugs. Veronique took Isabelle´s hand. She led her deeper into her marvellous home. Isabelle adored every detail of her friend´s house. The mansion resembled Kaitlyn´s house. It included a swimming pool in its backyard.
Soon afterwards, Veronique and Isabelle sat at a table opposite to each another. They were drinking wine and eating desserts picked up from the buffet table. Their hands touched while they were talking. Isabelle followed Veronique everywhere. She was scared of something bad happening to her friend otherwise.
Veronique had known Kaitlyn Hoffman. She expressed her sorrow to Isabelle openly. She said: “I´m sorry about what happened to your friend Kaitlyn. I´m so sorry.”
“I´m so sad about her too. I still cry on each day. Kaitlyn was so special to me.” Isabelle answered.
“I know that dear. Here you don’t have to be afraid. My house is guarded twenty-four-seven.”
“I believe you Veronique. Your home looks so pretty.”
“I´m glad that those, who hurt Kaitlyn, got what they deserved.”
“Janice, Simon and Robby were sentenced to prison for the rest of their lives. They were evil people.”
“I know. Nobody will forgive them for what they did.”
They both took sips from their wine glasses. Then, they continued watching the kids, who went swimming in the pool. They seemed to be having fun. Their carefree mood was spread all over the place.


Käyttäjien arvostelu: 1 käyttäjä(ä)

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Death of the Innocent (English short story) 2019-02-24 15:52:42 TarraLeguaani
TarraLeguaani Arvostellut: TarraLeguaani    February 24, 2019
Top 10 Arvostelijat  -   Kaikki arvostelut

Eikö birthday ja anniversary ole aivan eri tapahtumat? Toinen on jonkin tapahtuman vuosipäivä, ja synttärit on sitten ihan erikseen? Ja eikö evening dress (gown) ole aina pitkä? No, pikkuseikkoja, mutta jäin vain miettimään :)

Repliikin jälkeen tuli pilkku, jos se jatkuu johtolauseella (=kuka sanoo/miten joku sanoo tms). Eli: “I know I´m upset. This will not be easy for me to bear”, Janice replied.

Välillä menee nimet sekaisin, joka vaatii sitten vähän uudelleenlukua, esim. "Isabelle´s heart pounded. She had seen the gun in Isabelle´s hand."

"Isabelle didn´t have a gun when she arrived." Mutta sitten myöhemmin samana iltana Isabellellä oli ase, jonka kanssa odotti Robbya?

Englanti on kirjoitettu erittäin hyvin ja sujuvasti. Teksti on selvästi tarkkaan harkittu ja moneen kertaan tarkistettu. Lisäät hyvin yksityiskohtia, kuvailet mielekkäästi ja olet suht looginen.

Liika sinisilmäisyys kuitenkin jää kovasti mietityttämään. Miten kolme nuorta olisivat voineet saada uhrinsa rahat murhaamalla tämän? En keksinyt mitään keinoa, miten murha ja rahat olisi saatu yhdistettyä. Omaisuus oli varmaankin enimmäkseen uhrin vanhempien, ja joka tapauksessa uhrin rahat siirtyivät läheisimmille omaisille.

Entä miksi kaikki kolme murhaajaa uskoivat heitä syyttänyttä Isabelleä yhden sähköpostin perusteella? Miksi Isabelle olisi ihan yhtäkkiä muuttanut mielensä ja halunnutkin maksaa ison summan rahaa kolmikolle ystävänsä murhasta? Ja miksi he ajoivat takaisin päästyään vihdoin karkuun ja vielä kaikki kolme?

Eli idea ja teksti oikein hyviä, mutta uskottavuutta tai hyviä selityksiä tarvittaisiin lisää :)

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